Seventh

Love

Here is where my heads at today. I have been taking into consideration that sometimes you may have to make your own fairytale come true. I am not really a Pessimist however I have felt the light dim in my eyes over the years when it comes to the topic Love. To many times I have been the witness to betrayal, lies and bad choices made ending Marriages in breakups, one night stands and cold very cold marriages when they choose not to separate for whatever reasons. Since I can remember I  have had a dream in my head that I'm worried is fading, You know how after waking in the morning or from a nice nap you realize you dreamed (I rarely do) so you try to recall and all you have are bits and pieces. I want hurry and find someone who will help make that dream come true before I can not remember the dream any more and just get married because he's good looking or because I'm tired of being alone. Here's the question, Is it okay to fall for someone and not be attracted to him. I mean really not feel anything inside when you look at him. It's when you started talking and was able to witness first hand what he was passionate about and witnessed a transformation in him that caused a "hhm" in your little time together.  I ONLY ask because I have this feeling that I would die if I knew my husband did not find me beautiful. Is that weird? I really have a lot of insecurities and knowing that they're might be 10 girls in the restaurant that he finds prettier then me would be oh so sad. So would it be wrong to start a relationship where you fear you would be doing the same thing to him?  Is it true that with time you will come to be attracted and fall in love??? or is it always like this and you get over it and just live life with someone who completes you in every way he just doesn't look like Ryan Gosling. That last part was for fun lol.

I'll write again soon. Thanksgiving is next week. Yikes! also it's someone's very specials birthday. I wonder what I shall get them? Maybe a nice pair of boots or a purse. =) we shall see... I love shopping for this person so it will be a pleasure.

maybe I should write about my new place... Next time. Until then thank you for stopping by and reading. Love
mela